I am trying to find myself as a person, sometimes that’s not easy to do…so many roads, so many detours, so many choices, so many mistakes.
// April 21st, 2010 // No Comments » // Comedy, Friends, Laila's Randomness
I’ve had a couple people betray me. I’m not a person who believes in holding grudges, but if one of my friends did something really terrible to me, it would be very hard to every really trust them again. What would stop them from doing something like that again? It’s not like that person just changes and suddenly becomes different….
// March 13th, 2010 // No Comments » // Friends, Laila's Randomness
Me: Please, I don’t want you to see me like this.
Friend: All due respect, I think everybody’s seen you like this. I don’t know details, but you can’t sit here anymore. Not like this.
Me: Smoking & drinking feels a little bit like all I have left.
Friend: You are better than this. I’ve seen you been better. You go get better. You be the person I’ve always known you to be.
// November 11th, 2009 // No Comments » // Friends, Love
Children are tiny humans. They believe in magic, they play pretend, there is fairy dust in their IV, they hope and they cross their fingers, and make wishes, and that makes them more resilient than adults. They recover faster, survive worse, they believe. They believe in miracles and believe anything is possible.
- Grey’s Anatomy
// October 22nd, 2009 // No Comments » // Friends, Laila's Randomness
Sometimes we accept only perfection and unrealistic expectations. People often will let you down, will disappoint you, will not come through.
Being let down is the one “crime” within the realm of friendship that we have the most trouble with. Many friendships survive nonetheless, but some don’t. End of the day, it is not easy to shift gears just like that, to suddenly be formal and businesslike with someone to whom you were close to.
What is a friendship? Is it something based in a deep, sacred bond? Maybe. But can a friendship also be about enjoying talking to someone and spending time in their company? Do we maybe expect too much, so that when we are disappointed, we overreact?
A real friend would never…
Maybe, but what about somebody you have fun being with but who has flaws and for whom you are not an absolute top priority?
When others disappoint you, there is one question you should always ask yourself:
Is it really so bad, is it so unforgivably terrible, or is it just less than what I wanted?
// October 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Friends, Laila's Randomness, Love
Our destiny threw us together. Collectively, we have experienced the extreme joy, and deep sorrows that life offered. From mundane moments to the dramatic and surreal, we have a history. We had our hearts broken by affairs and mended through our friendships. We’ve known happiness and loneliness along with self-doubt. Inspiring and supportive, our conversations gave us hope and inner strength. We knew that together, as friends, we would never walk alone in our life’s journey. Yet, as individuals, we could not be more different.
The phrase “survive and thrive” became a perfect descriptor of our journeys as friends. Together we would navigate through some tricky times. It meant taking what life offered up and looking for opportunities, the joy, and the compassion in less than pleasant or less than perfect circumstances. We built the confidence to trust each other when life’s legendary curveballs were thrown because we had the willpower, support and courage to move forward together.
// May 10th, 2009 // No Comments » // Blogroll, Family, Friends, Laila's Randomness, Love
I’m sensing a lot of pain out there these days … I put together a few things I’ve learned in my 26 years as a usually-single person that might be worth sharing. This is for my own sake, too — I have to remind myself to practice them. Here they are, in no particular order:
Learn to live with uncertainty. Man, I wish I could plan and control everything that happens in my life. But hey, there are far worse things than not knowing your romantic future. Imagine being diagnosed with breast cancer, treating it, and beating it … but still wondering at every next mammogram if the cancer will have come back. That’s living with uncertainty. People do it every day.
Be patient. Everything takes longer than we expect — getting that next job or promotion, waiting for a guy to commit, or finding a house or roommate or soulmate. Did I ever think I’d be single in 2009? NEVER. But the reason I’m not walking around in shock about it is because of another lesson I’ve learned — namely, that life always surprises you.
Practice a positive attitude. I have many friends who are blessed with loving husbands, children, dogs, luxury cars … even a swimming pool out back. They appear to have it all. But I cannot resent my friends their happiness. That’s so lame. Things will work out for me! They will.
Realize that life is seriously beautiful. Even though George Clooney isn’t sitting on your couch and proposing marriage (yet), you have other beautiful, moving things (e.g. the Beatles, a blue sky, good literature). Whenever I take the time to notice something … bellisimo —well, I won’t get all religious on you, but if you actually thank God or Buddha or throw it out to the universe, it reminds you there are bigger things than poor old you and your loneliness (thank goodness for that!).
Stay in the present. You know when you’re singing by yourself, and you’re actively recalling the lyrics and swaying, and then you get down on your knees and really belt out that money note? Well, that’s living in the moment. Sing, write, dance — do anything engaging. Just get in the zone as often as possible. The zone will save you.
Laugh at yourself. This is a must. Also laugh at other people or characters. I recommend watching Bridget Jones.
// April 29th, 2009 // No Comments » // Blogroll, Canada, Dubai, Family, Friends
There was a time in my life all I did was talk, crave, live and breathe Dubai. I’ve lived there my entire life and it’s home to me. Always has, always will be. But I realized a few things. People were changing, my friends were no longer the same, I was changing. I longed to be there, see it for myself and maybe come to a realization that I left for a reason.
And that was today. I realized that I was the one mostly keeping in touch with friends or people who no longer were people I recognized. They had either turned 180 degrees or were doing the same thing they kept doing 3 years ago. They still had no future goals to achieve something greater than what they are. And once I realize that’s not in you, I tend to walk away. I like to surround myself with positive people, those who strive to reach their personal and professional goals, those who crave to go beyond they no longer can.
I realized I was moping around too much or feeling a little negative that I traveled here, because adjusting to a new country and leaving something that you’re so used to, leaving a place you’ve grown up at at the age of 23 was not easy. Friends back home seem that it’s easy. They think it’s not a big deal. But one can only experience what I’ve gone through if they’ve stepped into my shoes. Moving, finding new friends and living in a country where everything was different was not only exciting but scary. Even till today.
People here on the other hand, have a heart. They’ve experienced life the hard way. Of course, it is very hard to find true friends but they’re here nonetheless. I just kept missing dubai for no apparent reason. Maybe coz it’s home and have been but it’s just not for me, not right now.
// April 21st, 2009 // No Comments » // Blogroll, Canada, Dubai, Family, Friends, Laila's Randomness
TEN things I wish I could say to different people right now:
1. your potential is daunting.
2. let me figure you out.
3. you’re a disaster.
4. go away.
5. you’re the reason i hate girls.
6. i miss you.
7. you make me happy.
8. the world does not revolve around you.
9. see you on friday.
10. thank you.
NINE things about me:
1. i’m a neat freak.
2. i love sarcasm.
3. i love getting inside people’s heads.
4. i love art, photography.
5. i have long hair now.
6. i want to go back to dubai.
7. i love horse back riding & dolphins.
8. i like you.
9. i’m so stubborn.
EIGHT things that cross my mind a lot:
1. being in dubai
2. work. i want to go far, beyond the distance
3. i need to make up my mind.
4. graduation. dec 2010. its my freedom
5. i want more clothes.
6. why are people so dumb?
7. i’m such a nerd sometimes.
8. love gadgets. always looking for the next best thing.
SEVEN things I wish I never did/regret:
1. open up.
2. stress.
3. care.
4. worry.
5. think so much.
6. say so much.
7. did so much.
SIX turn offs:
1. arrogance.
2. laziness.
3. ignorance.
4. bad drivers.
5. immaturity.
6. lack of determination.
FIVE turn ons:
1. blue/grey/hazel eyes.
2. musical/artistic.
3. funny.
4. good style.
5. intelligent.
FOUR things I want to do before I die:
1. go all over Europe.
2. go swimming with dolphins.
3. write a book
4. be very successful.
THREE people who mean the world to me:
1. my sisters
2. my parents
3. my friends
TWO people I call best friends:
1. Chiqui
2. Ziyad
ONE person who completes my world:
1. mmmmmm.
// March 27th, 2009 // No Comments » // Blogroll, Friends, Love
People can call it passion, or lust, or obsession. I don’t really care. When I’m with him it’s the only time I feel completely alive. If you’ve never felt the power of that then I feel sorry for you.
// February 24th, 2009 // No Comments » // Family, Friends, Love
Many people are afraid of growing old. I’m afraid of
growing old and boring. Many people are afraid of
growing old,alone. I’m afraid of growing old, insane.
Many people are afraid of losing their looks. I’m
afraid of losing my dreams. Many people are afraid of
losing their youth. I’m afraid of losing my soul. When
you’re 15, 35 seems ancient. When you’re 35, 15 seems
juvenile. A turnaround in a split second – two decades
zoom past and before you know it, it’s only a mile to
the next millenium. Don’t’ fear age- it’s a right of
personhood. Don’t fear death- it’s God’s greatest
jest. Don’t grow old – you don’t have to.
Don’t date because you’re desperate. Don’t marry
because you’re miserable. Don’t have kids because you
think your genes are superior. Don’t separate because
you think it’s fashionable. Don’t drink because you
have troubles. Don’t gamble because you think winning
is inevitable. Don’t philander because you think
you’re irresistible. Most likely, you’re not.
Don’t associate with people you can’t trust. Don’t
cheat. Don’t lie. Don’t pretend. Don’t try to buy your
way into the kingdom of God. Don’t dictate because
you’re smarter. Don’t demand because you’re stronger.
Don’t sleep around because you think you’re old enough
and know better. Don’t hurt your kids because loving
them is harder. Don’t sell your self, your family or
your ideals. Don’t stagnate. Don’t regress. Learn a
new skill. Find a new friend. Start a new career.
Don’t live in the past. Time can’t bring anything or
anyone back. Don’t put your life on hold for possibly
Mr. Right. Don’t throw your life away on absolutely
Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking and
you can’t afford to have your eggs harvested before
the new millennium.
There’s always a mad rush to something, somewhere but
victory does not always belong to those who finish
first. Sometimes, there is no race to be won only a
price to be paid for some of life’s more hasty
decisions. You can’t always go with the throng who
could be wrong. Sometimes, you have to be alone to be
enlightened. To terminate your loneliness, reach out
to the homeless. To feed your nurturing instincts,
care for the needy. To fulfill your parenting
fantasies, get a puppy. Don’t bring another life into
this world for all the wrong reasons. To keep yourself
warm, buy a jacket. In the long-run, it will be less
complicated and less costly. To make yourself happy,
pursue your passions and be the best of what you can
be. Simplify your life. Take away the clutter. Get rid
of destructive elements – abusive friends, nasty
habits and dangerous liaisons. Don’t abandon your
responsibilities but don’t overdose on duty. Don’t
live life recklessly without thought and feeling for
your family. Be true to yourself. Don’t commit when
you’re not ready. Don’t keep others waiting
needlessly. Fall in love – it’s the greatest thing on
earth. But take care and remember, after the fall must
come the rise. Go on that trip. Don’t postpone it.
Say those words. Don’t let the moment pass. Do what
you must even at society’s scorn. Write poetry. Love
deeply. Walk barefoot. Hold hands. Dance with wild
abandon. Cry at the movies. Take care of yourself.
Don’t wait for someone to take care of you. You light
up your life. You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you – except you. It is true that
life doesn’t get easier with age. It only gets more
challenging. Don’t be afraid. Don’t lose your capacity
to love. Pursue your passions. Live your dreams. Don’t
lose faith in God.
Don’t grow old. Just grow-up…
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